


Reaching Nirvana

by wonderdidicat



Category: Mewgulf
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:54:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25018087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderdidicat/pseuds/wonderdidicat
Summary: After the filming of TharnAndType Season 2, Mew and Gulf went on a much-needed vacation at Phu Kradueng National Park.  They were looking forward to snuggling in their bungalow and watching sunset at Lom Sak Cliff.  Until an accident occurred, disrupting all their plans, and casting a gloom to their future.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

Under the fluorescent light of Scihomphu Hospital’s Emergency Room waiting area, a lanky figure dressed in black sportswear paced back-and-forth. He rushed to the hallway, as a doctor emerged from the restricted examination area.“Mr. Traipipattanapong, it is best that you contact Mr. Jongcheveevat’s family immediately. We need to operate on him, before his condition deteriorates further.” Gulf remembered the young doctor’s face, from the small crowd that received Mew’s stretcher, as it unloaded from the medical helicopter.“Dr…”, Gulf stared intensely into the young doctor’s face, shook his head slightly and pursed his lips, as the name of the doctor evaded him.“Dr. Shinawatra, I am Mr. Jongcheeveevat’s primary physician. Mr. Jongchevevat is currently in an induced coma, CT scan shows that he has a closed fracture, a coup contusion, and epidural hematomas just under his left parietal bone.”

  
The sound of strange words like “intracranial” and “edema” kept on hitting Gulf’s ears, he couldn’t understand them, and he couldn’t process them. He felt tears welling up in his eyes, lightheaded and nauseous. “But he is going to be ok, right?” Gulf asked in a trembling voice, while tightly grabbing the doctor’s upper arms, and stared hopelessly into the doctor’s eyes, searching for reassurance.  
“Mr. Traipipattanapong. I understand it must be difficult, but please try to stay calm. Due to the severity of Mr. Jongcheeveevat’s injury, it would be premature to assess his prognosis now.”  
The exchange between the doctor and Gulf was no longer than 5 minutes, but to Gulf, it felt like a lifetime. It seemed that he needed to mobilize every single cell in his body to just stand and listen. He could barely hold himself up. As the doctor disappeared into the emergency room again, Gulf sank into a green chair, backed onto a wall, and with his shaking hand, speed-dialed Mew’s mom.  
  
On the left of Gulf was a small orange plastic tray, with a sandwich, and some ice water. On the right of him was stack of magazines. But in the past hour, Gulf was only interested in playing a “what if” game with himself.

  
What if Mew stays in a coma for weeks? Then he would come to the hospital everyday and keep him company.

  
What if Mew is confused and agitated after he wakes up? Then he would take care of Mew, from head-to-toe. Close his curtains for him, turn down the TV for him, read to him softly, and never talk-back.

  
What if Mew can’t drive anymore? Then he would get a car, and drive Mew to school, and pick him up.

  
What if Mew can’t walk properly? Then he would hire the best physical therapist in Thailand, no, in the world.

  
What if Mew won’t wake up anymore? Gulf couldn’t allow himself to finish the thought. He felt like a pebble, being dropped into a dark sea, submerged in a deep and desperate pain.

  
“Mr. Traipipattanapong, here is a blanket for you. You seem cold”. A nurse gently draped a pale blue cotton blanket around Gulf’s shoulders. Startled, Gulf nervously looked up at the nurse with wild eyes.  
“Is there anything else I can get for you?” The nurse asked with a concerned voice, as Gulf scrunched his legs, and hugged his knees tightly with his own arms, shivering like a small furry animal underneath the blanket. Gulf answered with an abrupt headshake.

  
A warm breeze entered the waiting room, from the revolving door at the hospital entrance. A slender middle-aged woman dressed in a khaki trench coat emerged from the darkness. Seeing the familiar face, light returned to Gulf’s eyes for the first time in many hours. He stood up from the chair and closed the distance between them with long strides. He tightly wrapped his arms around the elegant lady, and sobbed for an entire minute, before he was able to speak.

  
He could barely look into her sad and anxious eyes and muttered “P’Mew is seriously hurt. It is all my fault.”

  
“How? When? Why?” The lady stared at Gulf with disbelief. After all, a mere 24 hours ago, Mew and Gulf were baking hazelnut brownies for their little road trip to Phu Kradueng National Park. She had to urge them to sleep, in order to have a safe drive. Still, the two young men acted like excited children before a school trip. The sound of packing and hushed laughter was heard outside Mew’s bedroom, well after midnight.  
Gulf ushered Mew’s mom to a quiet corner of the waiting room, sat her down on a chair, and kneeled beside her.

  
“P’Mew fell into a stream. His clothes got wet, but otherwise he seemed ok. We walked for some time, then he complained that he felt dizzy and nauseous. I thought he was having a heat stroke. We sat down underneath a tree, taking cover in the shade. He said he was tired and closed his eyes. I was whipping his face, and then saw…” Gulf’s voice cracked as he tried to squeeze out the rest of the sentence “I saw blood trickling from his right ear.” Gulf broke down again, covering his face with both of his hands, with tears streaming down between his fingers.Mew’s mom patted Gulf’s head with a trembling hand, with a blank expression on her face. She googled frantically about head injuries in her car ride from Bangkok. Gulf was just describing one sign of severe head injury after another. It was almost unbearable to hear.

  
“What did the doctor say?” Mew’s mom asked in tears. “The doctor said that it would be premature to assess his prognosis now.” Gulf had repeated Dr. Shinawatra’s statement word-for-word, too afraid to misrepresent any information.


	2. Chapter 2

The pearly white paint of a small Mercedes SUV glistened under the sun, as it sped across Highway-2. Two young men laughed and talked with STAMP’s “It’s Probably Love” playing in the background.  
“P’Mew, slow down, you are going at 130 already! Watch, we are going to get caught, and then we’ll have to do our next Live IG meeting in jail!” Gulf beamed a toothy smile with full braces at his P.  
Mew gave out a sigh, and pouted his lips “Well who’s fault is it that we only got up at 10, and didn’t hit the road until 11? Huh?”, as he touched the breaking pedal and dropped the speed to 110.

  
“If we don’t get to the visitor centre by 3, they won’t let us start our hike to upper camping ground.” Mew added, with mild disappointment in his voice.

  
“Relax. We are on vacation! Though it seems there’s no chance, though I’ll have to mess a lot of things up..” Gulf sang slightly off-key at the chorus of the song. “Come on, sing with me P.”

  
Mew shook his head as he realized that he could never sulk for too long at his Nong, and joyfully joined Gulf “I’ll give it to you until you accept it. I’ll tell you I love you until you give in. You’re my happiness…”  
Gulf lowered his head and sang quietly, so he could hear his P more clearly. Mew’s voice was expressive and lovely as always. Even though they had been in a relationship for over a year now, Gulf could still feel his ears burning hearing Mew singing a love song. The filming of TharnAndType Season 2 had just wrapped and scheduled to air in early December. Though he had always enjoyed working with Mew, but having a few days without the production crew, without the camera lights, and even without the adorning fans, was just what he needed. He gently placed his left hand on Mew’s leg and tapped at the rhythm of the song.

  
“Hey! Paws off, I am driving!” Mew stole a quick glance at Gulf and could not help but smile. Even though he had seen Gulf all made up to perfection in front of the camera countless times, Mew always found the fresh-faced Gulf, sans make-up, the most adorable.

  
“Fine, I am having breakfast then!” Gulf puffed up his cheeks and reached for a Ziplock bag inside his backpack. He stuffed his face with apple slices, then placed a big slice beside Mew’s lips.  
  
“Sawadee krap!” a brightly dressed attendant greeted Mew and Gulf enthusiastically, “How may I help…” before he could complete his usual introduction, he recognized the pair of celebrities despite their oversized sunglasses. “OMG”, the attendant gasped and placed his hands over his mouth and pretended to hyperventilate in excitement. Mew placed a finger over his own lips, and let out a soft “ssshhh”, with a wink. The attendant nodded his head, and placed a hand over his heart, and mouthed silently “I got you!”

  
“So it is almost 2 pm right now, you definitely will be able to reach Lom Sak Cliff in time to see the sunset. And of course, you don’t want to miss the Tham Yai Waterfall,” the attendant circled major attractions on the park map, “right now, it is low season, so we only have 3 rest stops, instead of the usual 5. Try to use the washroom before you start hiking! Oh, and please refrain from feeding the deers and the monkeys.” He looked knowingly at Gulf, and then pushed a pair of keys across the counter “These are the keys to the Imperial Bungalow! And you are all set, enjoy!”

  
Gulf huffed and puffed as he swung Mew’s hand, walking up the dirt trail, “Why did he look at me, when he was doing the no feeding warning??!!” “Because it is obvious who is the naughty one?” Mew flashed Gulf a bright smile, as he answered. The winding path was lined with crape myrtle, Sumatran pine, bluewings and marigolds. Clusters of purple and orange dots added playful highlights to the canvas of various shades of green. A gentle breeze brought a sweet woodsy scent to their face, as they leisurely walked up the trail without a care in the world.

  
Mew noticed a five petalled pinkish lavender flower on a tall delicate stem. Itis not something he has seen before. As Mew pointed his camera at the flower, he entered his encyclopedia mode “I think this is a hydrocera, in the family of balsams, cousins with impatiens. It is a perennial plant and can be harvest to use as a dye.” “It looks like an orchid to me.” Gulf said as he observed the flower closely, “if P’Mew knows everything, then what is the flower meaning of hydrocera?” “Well it is a wildflower, not a cultivated one, and is rarely used in bouquets. I am not aware it has an established meaning.” “Well then, I declare, from this day onwards, hydrocera means ‘I hate you’!” “Oh, that is so cruel, I am sorry little flower for his rudeness.” Before Mew could stop him, Gulf picked the flower and placed it on top of Mew’s right ear. “Hey Gulf, you shouldn’t pick flowers in the park!” “Yeah? Well the attendant only warned me about the monkeys and the deers and said nothing about the flowers. Plus, as Wikipedia shows”, Gulf waved his phone as he spoke “this type of flower is in the category of least concerned”.

  
With a sigh, Mew took off his sunglasses and rubbed his temple. “Okay, okay, I won’t do it again.” Gulf bit his lower lip, and gently squeezed Mew’s shoulder, and promised in a guilty voice with a pout.  
As Mew stood up, a blue pansy butterfly landed itself on top of the lavender flower on his ear, its wings gently fluttered. Gulf was taken breathless at the sight. Mew, with his porcelain skin, expressive big eyes, and soft hair casually parted in the middle, had an innocent beauty. He resembled a mythical fairy in this tropical forest, mesmerized, Gulf leaned in, and placed a kiss on Mew’s forehead; startled both Mew and the butterfly.  
  
“What do you want to do for our next project?” Mew caressed Gulf’s hand with his fingertips as he asked. “Oi, P, I thought we agreed to not talk about work on vacation!” Gulf protested. “But I have to earn 20 million baht for someone, remember?” Gulf blushed at Mew’s tease.

  
“Do you like the fantasy genre?” An image of Mew’s ethereal beauty flashed in Gulf’s mind. “Well, sure, P’Mew can be a fairy prince, and I can be your warrior lover.” “Oi, I was thinking the other way around, because we all know that N’Gulf is the prettiest of them all.” Mew pinched the back of Gulf’s neck and brought his head closer to his own.

  
“Will there be an evil dragon or a tyrannical overlord?” “Not sure, but we will have to be conscious of the budget, when selecting script. I am thinking of producing …” Mew’s train of thought was stopped at the sound of water splashing on rocks. As he raised his eyes, a breathtaking view of a crimson waterfall overwhelmed his senses. Countless maple leaves scattered on the rocks, only to be washed down and pooled at the bottom of the shallow stream. The waterfall resembled a sparkling gem enclosed by the maple forest.

  
“This is so beautiful”, Gulf gasped, squeeze Mew’s hand, and brought him in for a hug, “Thank you so much P for planning this trip for us. I love it, and I love you.” Gulf breezed into Mew’s ear, as he placed his head on his shoulder, tightening the embrace. “I love you too, Yai Nong. I do not know what it is about you that closes and opens; only something in me understands the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses. Nobody, not even rain, has such small hands.” Mew cited his favorite love poem in a whisper. “P’Mew, you are so sappy, and you know I don’t understand these cryptic things. How can rain have hands? Wait, is this poem about sex?” “Is that all you can think of?” Mew smacked Gulf on the head and pretended to be angry.

  
“But what I do understand is”, Gulf gestured Mew to come close to him, luring him in with his batting eyes, and then suddenly splashed water from the stream onto Mew’s face. “You naughty boy!” Mew chased after Gulf on the rocky edge of the pond, and suddenly lost his balance.


	3. Chapter 3

“Mrs. Jongcheveevat and Mr. Traipipattanapong, please come this way, Dr. Shinawatra would like to speak with you.” A nurse brought Mew’s mother and Gulf into a small, quiet room, with the doctor waiting inside.

  
“I am sorry, but I have bad news.” The doctor said grimly, as he placed his hand on Mew’s mother’s shoulder. Gulf’s body tensed up immediately at the doctor’s declaration, and Mew’s mother let out a small cry. “Mr. Jongcheveevat’s head injury has caused extensive internal bleeding in the brain. Even though he is on blood thinner, the probability of him developing life-threatening blood clots is remarkably high. He is still unconscious, though his operation was successful, I worry the overall functional decline we have seen is going to continue. I am afraid something serious may happen in the next few days.”  
Mew’s mother let out a wailing cry, and asked in a hoarse voice “What do you mean by something serious?”

  
“I want to assure you, that my team and I will continue to support Mr. Jongcheveevat and provide the best care possible. There are some experimental treatments that I would like to discuss with you. However, it would be prudent for you and the rest of your family to prepare emotionally and logistically for Mr. Joncheeveevat’s death.”

  
All Gulf could hear was a loud ring in his ears. His body started to shake uncontrollably, with tears silently falling down his cheeks, then everything went black.  
  
Mew woke up on top of a fluffy white cloud, wearing an ivory rob. He gazed at his surroundings with disbelief. He appeared to be in the centre of a massive temple, completely made from cloud. On the ceiling of the temple, golden phoenixes twirled about. At the gate of the temple, there were 2 guarding kirins. One of them seemed to be dozing off, while the other was licking its paw like a house cat.

  
This is some strong pain medication that he must be on.

  
“Aha, you have awoken from your slumber, Mew!” A loud voice resonated through the template, and a woman in a crisp white suit appeared. Mew lifted his head; the face of this lady was nothing he has seen before. It had the innocence of a baby, the wisdom of an elder, the warmth of a mother, and the majestic beauty of mountains and seas. Mew immediately kneeled and said a prayer.

  
“Raise your head and make yourself comfortable.” The lady smiled and said warmly, with a snap of her fingers, a sofa emerged from the clouds. “Sit and be comfortable, would you like something to drink?” Still in shock and awe, Mew murmured “I never thought the Buddha is a woman”. “Oh, but I am not. I am everything, and nothing at the same time. This is just your mind’s projection of me.” The white suited lady shifted her weight in a salsa dance move, and suddenly in her place was a giant pink elephant with prayer beads draped on its neck. The elephant stumped its front legs, and the purple genie from the classic Disney movie appeared. “I think I prefer the lady.” Mew said sheepishly. “I thought so”, the Buddha re-appeared, and sat herself on the sofa.

  
“Am I dead?” Mew asked. “Not yet, but you will be soon.” She answered.

  
“Oh…” Mew fell into a solemn silence. “Don’t be sad darling. Birth is not a beginning, and death is not an end. This is all part of the journey on the wheel of existence.” The Buddha smiled, reassuringly.

  
“Plus, I believe congratulations are in order, judging by your karma points.” The Buddha opened her palm, and a tablet fell right into her hand. As she scrolled the screen, she seemed to be impressed “A for non-violence, A for truthfulness, A+ for compassion, and B- for possessiveness. Based on your record, the worst thing you have done in your life was throwing a piece of dessert onto the ceiling of your classroom, in elementary school. Really? You have never even jaywalked. Wow!”

  
“Ok, boy scout, based on your record, you will be leaving the realm of manushya, and ascend to the realm of devas.” The Buddha nodded her head, while giving Mew 2 thumbs up.

  
“Instead of a human, I will reincarnate into a god?” Mew gasped, unable to hide his excitement.

  
“Basically. Millions of souls have crossed, so the typical stuff like fire, water, rainbows have been taken. But I think you will make a fine guardian god of engineers.”

  
“I am honoured.”

  
“We should get to it then.” The Buddha handed a short white candle with a small flame to Mew and held up a golden unlit candle in her own hand. “Light the divine candle with your mortal flame, and the transformation shall be complete”.

  
“I…” Mew’s eyes casted downwards, as he cradled the small white candle. “I want to see someone, one last time.”

  
The Buddha sighed, and with a wave of her hand, the clouds parted, and a lily pond came to sight. She ushered Mew to the pond and told him to gaze down.

  
First blurry, then clear, the image of a young man emerged. The young man was in a hospital gown, holding Mew’s hand, with his forehead rested at Mew’s bedside. The young man’s hair was messy, face pale, and quiet prayers came out of his chapped lips. “May you be filled with loving kindness. May you be safe from inner and outer dangers. May you be healthy in body and mind. May you find peace and be truly happy.”

  
Suddenly, Mew felt a piercing heartache, and a flood of memories rushed to him. Meeting Gulf for the first time on casting day. Kissing Gulf for the first-time during drama practice. Gulf holding a salmon cake for Mew’s birthday. Lighting incense at a temple together. Then, some ancient truth stirred in him. This face, this person. He was known by many different names. They were fishing on small boat in a storm. They were watching a sunset over a rice paddy. They were marching towards enemies in military uniforms. They were observing experiments in a laboratory. They were cutting roses in a flower gardeThis person was not just his lover in this lifetime, but his soulmate through many lifetimes.

“I…” Mew signed and looked into the Buddha’s eyes with sincerity and urgency. “Oh, spare me the speech, I have heard it before. But as the all forgiving being, I will not hold a grudge against you. Just for the record Mew, this is the 11th time you have declined the invitation to the Nirvana for him.”

  
Epilogue  
Dr. Shinawatra said Mew’s recovery was The Buddha’s wish. Not only had Mew achieved full recovery in 12 months, he was also completely spared from typical complications of a head trauma, and re-gained his full speech, motor, and intellectual abilities. Mew’s prognosis was so remarkable, Dr. Shinawatra had documented the entire treatment plan for a presentation at an international medical conference.

  
A year since Mew’s recovery, Mew and Gulf’s fantasy movie The Fairy Prince had earned top grossing in Thailand.

  
Three years since Mew’s recovery, Gulf’s banker informed him of 20-million-baht money transfer to his bank account.

  
Five years since Mew’s recovery, the pair adopted a little boy from a Cambodian orphanage, who has lost his parents to Aids.

  
Somewhere high above in a cloud temple, a pink elephant was running on a treadmill, while thinking about developing a soulmate karma point system.


End file.
